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  • Writer's pictureHermione Gardiner

I feel like a failure

Updated: Feb 29

Have you ever felt this way? I’ve thought these words to myself several times this week. You know those weeks where you’re just not on your game, you don’t feel great, you’re a bit tired, cranky or fed up, you’ve not showed up fully, you're not really present, maybe you’ve yelled at your kids or things just don’t seem to go quite to plan. It’s easy to get lost in this feeling. Believe me I know – I got lost in that negative thought pattern and feeling big time this week. But then I got an email from my business coach that shook me out of that headspace. It was on the importance of embracing a Growth Mindset. A Growth Mindset suggests that you can always develop, improve, and cultivate your skills through effort and practice. That you are never stuck where you are. Having a growth mindset allows you to engage deeply in the process of life and refrain from viewing or labelling an experience as a “failure". Instead, you can choose to view your decisions through a neutral lens, as learning opportunities, collecting information to figure out how you can handle things differently the next time around to obtain a different outcome. It involves getting into the habit of asking yourself, "What can this situation teach me?". This is an incredible way to learn more about yourself, and propel yourself forward. As soon as you ask yourself this question your brain literally goes into problem solving mode to look for the answer to that question. For me, one area I felt like failure this week was being tired and cranky with my kids. By asking this question my mind led me to a few answers… you’re staying up too late, you're juggling too much, you’re not looking after yourself. So then I asked myself the question again, and what can I learn from that? I need to go to bed earlier, I need to be more organized, to prioritise my health. And then I went to work creating changes in my plans and planning my schedule to support this. By shifting your thoughts you are shifting your feelings. By shifting your feelings you are shifting your actions. One of the things I really try to communicate to the businesses and people I work with (and my family) is that there are no failures, only situations we can learn from. I just needed that reminder myself this week. So I hope that this reminder helps at least one of you. Each day provides you with new opportunities in the choices you make, and each choice provides you with valuable feedback that can guide your future decisions to allow you to feel your best, and move you towards your goals. So if you’ve felt like a failure this week, are feeling like one now, or next time your mind slips into this place, remember to ask yourself “What can this situation teach me?". And experience the difference having a Growth Mindset can make to your life. And if you need help with working through a challenging time or getting out of a fixed mindset, please reach out for a chat. By Your Side - H

P.S If you're been thinking of working with a business coach and want to learn more about how I can help you then you're invited to book in free discovery call and get help mapping our your plan of action. In just 30 minutes we'll get clear on what's holding you back and map out a strategy for you to achieve your goals with confidence.

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